Saying, “I’m sorry you feel that way” is not a sincere apology. When we regret doing something, it’s not only important that we apologize, it’s imperative that we apologize for our action, not for the result of that action. THAT is what taking ownership of our part in the equation looks like. It is vulnerable, raw, and perfectly human. It doesn’t imply “I’m indebted to you until you choose to forgive me,” which means “Now it’s my turn to play the victim,” it says, “Look, I messed up [taking ownership of past actions], I am very sorry [present], and I will try my hardest not to do it again [future]. How can I make the present moment better?” [forward momentum]. This is so much better than the vicious loop of blaming and waiting for forgiveness (from ourselves or from others). It’s not the traditional “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you” model with which we were raised, but it does obliterate guilt, shame, and victim mentality, to make way for empowerment, betterment, and progress. In this model, nobody is “indebted” to anyone else.